Wasco Prison Reception

Wasco…yeah.  Welcome to prison.

Well…sort of prison…Wasco State Prison Reception Center – like pre-prison, where the CDCR (California Department of Corrections and R…what does the “R” stand for again? Oh, right…Rehabilitation) tries to figure out what prison you belong in. Well, “you” as in if “you” get sent here – for whatever reason, if any…

But I will loop back around to our “Justice” system later, when I have more time to wrap my own head around WTF happened…

There were a lot of questions about Wasco being asked back in the Ventura County Jail by inmates who are, were, or may be headed here, so I’ll answer those first:

  1. Yes, there are phones in “Reception” and you may or may not get to use them once a month, or once a week, or at random times, depending on what building you wind up in. And its GTEL*
  2. Yes, the food is way better.
  3. Commissary/canteen is way the fuck more reasonably priced. Example: Top Ramen in Ventura County: $1.00, Top Ramen Wasco:   (I will probably talk more about this, later, too.)  Side note:  Top Ramen spends like cash. Postage stamps aren’t worth shit. Canteen is only once a month.
  4. Colored pencils are worth a lot in here. So are tablets of drawing paper, pencil erasers, and card stock. The only thing that you will be able to “walk in” with here is the drawing paper. Anything else, you’ll have to hide up your ass.
  5. There are a lot of things in here that clearly must have been up someone’s ass – including heroin, cocaine and meth…as well as colored pencils and erasers.
  6. I have been here a month and I have not seen one attractive trans-sexual…actually, I haven’t seen any trans-gender people, attractive or otherwise.
  7. Prop 57, 33% reductions from 50% etc., etc. are hot topics of discussion here as well. I’m not sure anyone knows fuck-all here either. However, I’m sure that will all be cleared up in your “mainline” prison (where you go from here.)

So, there you go…

On to:

What Happens When You Get to Wasco Reception

Well, what happened when I got to Waco Reception (disclaimer:  your experience or perception may vary… I’m going to use “you” instead of “I” or “me” because it helps me disassociate from this fucked up reality…)

When you get there you see signs that say (and I shit you not), “Warning!  No warning shots will be fired.” So, “they” (you know:  “Them”) will shoot you here.

You are now a Nigger. Racism is alive and well in the heart of California’s San-you-must-be-joking Valley. “You” are a white guy standing there bare ass naked with a black guy in a green uniform, saying to you, “Hey. Nigger. I asked what size shoes you wear?”

At some point you are stabbed in the left arm with TB and stabbed in the right arm with Valley Fever, then asked if you feel like hurting yourself. Say NO, no matter what you feel. (I’m going to guess that you know why by the time you’re brought to Wasco.)

After some shuffling and waiting and shuffling, you will eventually find yourself in a dorm where human seagulls will hit you up with “smoker deals” trying to buy your new underwear and socks (that is, if you actually got any in your bag). I strongly recommend that you do no business for the first 72 hours. Many of the “deals” you’re offered are on items here that can be had for free once you know where to find them (like pencils, pens, envelopes, etc.)

You are going to be here a while.

Settle in. You will be at Wasco for 90-120 days or so: day in – day out…sitting around in orange pajamas…Monday through Friday there will be The Price Is Right on one TV and Jerry Springer on the other.  You are waiting to “Catch a Bag” or “Transpack” to your “Mainline” prison where you will serve your time.

To Be Continued…

* GTEL = Global Tel Link. Somebody should sue this company for profiteering…or something.  31c per minute local phone calls?

About The Village Idiot

"It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction... Fiction has to make sense." - Mark Twain

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